Stupid puns aside, Trumani, LLC is giving up straws. Their horrible effects on the environment was our last straw. Whoops sorry, one more pun, I guess.

Going Strawless Means We’re a Benevolent Company…How Dare You Suggest Otherwise

In no way shape or form should Trumani going strawless be seen as a shallow PR stunt or a helpless attempt to acquire more clicks. We have learned. We know our ill-fated attempt to build a submarine capable of saving the Thai soccer team appeared transparently self-serving. We’re better than that. What I mean to say is we’re better at hiding our malice. And there are plenty of simpler things we can do than visiting a cave in Thailand.

So begins our easy transition to strawless service. We brainstormed for minutes, noting that if we served drinks, our focus would switch to hot items like coffee and tea. But here’s the kicker. After a second of research, we found that as a company, we do not stock straws, revealing perfect synergy between our bottom line and the environment. Let it be known from plastic filled sea to plastic filled sea. Trumani is a friend of the internet.

You’re welcome, Internet.

Be sure to check out our other initiatives.